


Right in front of our noses

by andreaxjulia



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Bram and Simon being blind asf, Friends to Lovers, Gay Disaster Simon Spier, M/M, POV Bram Greenfeld, Pining Bram Greenfeld, Simon Speir being dumb, best friends au, everything is the same except they’re best friends, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:47:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25256401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andreaxjulia/pseuds/andreaxjulia
Summary: Basically Simon and Bram have been best friends since freshman year. Bram still sends that creeksecrets post and Simon still anonymously emails him. They’re basically just two oblivious idiots.
Relationships: Bram Greenfeld & Simon Spier, Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier
Comments: 17
Kudos: 129





	1. Chapter 1

Bram was moody, and pouting. Just like he had been since his mom decided to move them all the way to Atlanta a month into freshman year. That was two months ago. Safe to say he was not making friends.

So when Ms. Baze instructed the class to pick partners for the baby making lab (not as dirty as it sounds), Bram internally died.

He watched as everyone gravitated to their friends, quickly pairing off. Bram thought for sure there would be at least one person without a partner but he was quickly proven wrong. Slowly, and rather embarrassingly, Bram made his way to the teachers desk.

“Ms. Baze,” he said, barley finding his voice. “I don’t have a partner.”

Ms. Baze hummed thoughtfully, scanning the many pairs of partners until her eyes seemed to land on something she didn’t approve of, tilting in her head in disappointment.

“Mr. Spier,” she called. “I see you hiding with Burke and Eisner. I said groups of two — come join Mr. Greenfeld.”

Bram couldn’t believe his luck. Simon freaking Spier was going to make a baby with him. The thought made Bram turn a bright shade of red as Simon joined him at the double seated table.

“I hope you don’t take my disappointment personally,” Simon said, unzipping his backpack and taking out his notebook.

No, Bram thought, why would he take it personally that his crush looked so disappointed to be partnered with him? He would never consider taking that personally.

“It’s just always weird to have a group of three friends and then be asked to pick one. It’s like a parent being forced to pick their favorite child. Which is almost always never me in either situation,” Simon said, chuckling at the end to show he was joking. “You’re Bram, right?”

Bram suddenly forgot how to speak — forgot how to breath. It was like the words kept getting trapped in his throat, trapping his airways.

Simon Spier knew his name.

He ended up nodding, staring big eyed and mouth agape at Simon as he smiled. A wide tooth grin that revealed his braces. It was cute. He was cute.

“Simon,” he said, as if Bram didn’t already know his name. He clapped his hands together once. “So, ready to make a baby?”

Bram forced a chuckle despite the clawing feeling the rose in his gut. Was there any better way to word this project?

“Not that boys can make babies together,” Simon said, flipping the coin. Bram noticed the slight colorization of Simon’s cheeks. “Not that I... think about that kind of stuff....”

Bram watched Simon write their names at the line next to “parents.” His handwriting was complete chicken scratch which brought a smile to Bram’s face. He then wrote, “male” on the line next to “sex.”

“The whole concept of heads or tales is so freaking weird,” Simon said. “Like, it’s the freaking Lincoln memorial y’know? There’s no tail!”

Bram laughed, a real and unfiltered laugh, checking the tails end of the penny. He never thought of it like that.

“You make some points Simon,” Bram said, flipping the coin. “I don’t think heads or Lincoln memorial has much of a ring to it though.”

Simon laughed and Bram felt this sense of pride wash over him. “Lincoln memorial,” Bram said with a smirk, showing Simon the coin. “Our son has a square head.”

“Tragic,” Simon said, smiling as he drew a giant square on the paper. “Our son is spongebob.”

“Good for us,” Bram said smiling at Simon as his chuckles continued.

“Have you ever actually seen someone with a square shaped head?” Simon asked, taking the penny from Bram’s hand, their finger tips grazing each other’s as Simon held eye contact for a moment longer than he needed to. But not in an uncomfortable kind of way.

Bram glanced around the classroom, his eyes landing on a kid on his soccer team.

“I’m not saying this to be mean,” Bram started. “But Garrett’s head is a _little_ squarish.”

Simon glanced passed Bram, looking to Garrett and holding in a laugh. “Damn. Quiet and sweet new kid Bram going for the kill.”

“I said I’m not being mean!” Bram exclaimed, watching Simon draw an ugly chin on their poor spongebob child.

“The mean part is how right you are,” Simon said. “This is hands down the ugliest kid ever. I love him.”

Bram smiled softly at Simon’s sincerity and as they continued to create the ugliest child ever and Simon continued to love him, Bram realized two very important things.

First thing he realized was that he was in it for the long hall with this crush. A gut wrenching realization that almost destroyed him as soon as he realized it.

Secondly, Simon had the potential to be his best friend. And he wanted Simon to be his best friend. If he couldn’t date him, the next best thing was best friend, right?

Unfortunately the bell rang far too quickly for Bram’s liking and Simon ran to catch up with Leah and Nick leading Bram to a third realization: Simon Spier would never notice someone like him for longer than necessary. He threw his backpack over his shoulder, trudging towards the exit of the class in the same moody and pouty way as he entered. Bram was halfway out of the classroom when his name was called by Simon. He stopped in his tracks, turning to face Simon, Leah and Nick.

“What are you doing after school today?” Simon asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Uh... Nothing,” he admitted, hating how lame that made him seem — it was a Friday night and his only plans were to watch Vampire Diaries with his mom while she talks about how hot Damon Salvatore is and he tries _not_ to agree with her.

“My sister is taking us to Dave and Busters after school for my birthday,” Simon said, rocking on the balls of his feet. “And then we’re having a sleepover at my house. I was wondering if you wanted to join us?”

Bram continued looking at Simon, who was beaming hopefully and expectantly and his heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest. Simon Spier wanted him to come to his birthday — to have a sleepover with him.... and Nick and Leah but still. Simon wanted him there.

“That... that sounds amazing,” Bram got out, still staring at Simon who wore the largest smile on his face. A smile so bold and beautiful Bram just wanted to die. In a good way.

“Great!” Simon exclaimed. “Meet us out front after school. This is the start of a beautiful friendship Bram.”

Bram smiled because he knew Simon was right. Or he hoped Simon was right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer this is namely based off the book. It’s a mixture of the book, the movie and my own twist, clearly. I’m glad some of y’all have been enjoying it so far 🥺

Bram chewed on his lower lip, staring at the schools tumblr. Specifically his very own post. Well... Blue's post. It was less the post itself he was starring at and more the anonymous comment underneath.

'THIS!!' Followed by an email.

It was a joke, right? It had to be some kind of sick joke. Rationally, Bram knew he wasn't the only gay kid at Creekwood, I mean there are a hand full of gay kids already out. So why was he finding it so difficult to believe there was someone else out there like him? Should he email the kid? What would he even say?

He should just do it.

Bram dropped into his chair, rolling closer to his laptop. He created an anonymous and fake email then clicked new email. After putting in the kids email, Bram froze, gnawing on the nail of his thumb.

"Screw it," he muttered, typing his message.

> From: bluegreen116@gmail.com
> 
> To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com 
> 
> Date: Aug 24 at 3:47 pm
> 
> Subject: Is this what I was suppose to do? 
> 
> Hi. It's... blue. From the Creek Secrets post. I wasn't sure if you actually wanted me to email you or what? I made a whole new gmail account for you and everything.
> 
> Well anyway I guess I wanted to say that I'm glad I could speak to you on some level. Can I ask what exactly it was that lead you to comment? And to leave your (suspiciously anonymous) email (or maybe you also created a whole new email just to talk to me anonymously. In which case, I'm oddly flattered).
> 
> Well I don't really know what to expect with these emails but I thought I would reach out.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Blue.

Bram stared at the email for several minutes, contemplating whether or not he should hit send. He actually didn't mean to hit send in the end, but Simon barged into his room and in a moment of panic Bram clicked his mouse which hovered over the send button.

He quickly stood to his feet, shutting his computer and facing his best friend. Simon immediately chuckled.

"You look like I just caught you watching porn," he said, throwing himself on Bram's bed.

Bram forced a chuckle. "Yeah," he said. "You caught me. What are you doing here? I thought you had an audition for the play."

"There are like a total of three boys that auditioned," Simon said. "I showed up and got the part."

Bram chuckled, a real one this time, joining Simon on his bed. "Someone's talented."

"I'm super talented, obviously," Simon smirked. "Oh, hey, did you see that Creek Secrets post?"

Bram tensed up, his blood turning to ice. Why did he make that stupid post? Who let Sad Tipsy Bram near a computer let alone the Creeks Secret blog?

"Uh... which one?" Bram asked, avoiding eye contact.

"Well... it was... never mind," Simon said.

He laid back against Bram's pillows, staring at the ceiling. Bram followed his lead, laying down beside his friend but facing Simon. He wondered if Simon was referring to his own post and why he would decide not to talk about it. But Simon looked so distracted and lost almost. Bram was about to ask what he was thinking about when Simon rolled to his side, looking at Bram.

"Bram?" Simon said softly. Bram always loved the way Simon said his name. It was smooth and soft and it always made Bram feel like the most important person to Simon. Which he knew was absurd, but he loved it nonetheless.

“Yeah Simon,” he said.

Simon stayed silent for a moment too long, chewing on his bottom lip as he contemplated his words. Finally, he spoke. “Do you want to go to Waffle House?”

“Uh.... yeah,” Bram said, holding back a sigh. Sometimes he felt like there was a wall between him and Simon, and not just on his side. Like there was something Simon was hiding deep within himself just like Bram was. They were holding each other at arms length, wanting to get closer but neither could get past that damn wall they put up. “Let’s go to Waffle House.”

* * *

They ended up meeting up with Nick, Leah and the new girl Abby, discussing their first day, classes and getting to know Abby. Bram was trying to present, but his mind was on that email and that kid, whoever they are. He wondered if they’d respond or if it was just some trash email account. It didn’t help that the others started the conversation by discussing said post.

“Hey,” Simon whispered, softly elbowing Bram in the side. “You okay?”

Bram smiled, nodding. “I’m fine. Just a long day.”

Simon nodded, looking at his phone. Bram tried to focus back on the others conversation but he couldn’t quite hone in on what it was they were talking about.

“Holy shit,” Simon breathed out, startling the others.

“Everything okay?” Bram asked, putting a hand on his friends shoulder.

“I... yeah,” Simon said, sliding out of the booth. “I’ll... I’ll be right back. It’s... Bieber.”

“What’s wrong with Bieber?” Leah asked, leaning forward a bit.

“Uh... not sure.” And then he was gone, typing away on his phone as he stepped just outside.

“I hope he’s okay,” Leah muttered against her straw.

“You guys are all surprisingly concerned about Justin Bieber’s well-being,” Abby said as she tore off a piece of her waffle.

This led to the others laughing, even Bram and his slightly sullen mood joined in.

“Bieber is his dog,” Bram explained.

He glanced out the window, seeing Simon just outside typing on his phone. Bram prided himself on knowing Simon very well. After all they had been best friends for three years and he had been crushing on him the same amount of time. So he knew that nothing was actually wrong with Bieber. He just didn’t know what was actually up.

* * *

“Did you read that post they were talking about?” Bram asked as Simon drove him home later that night. It took him several minutes and heap load of courage to ask that question, but Bram was curious what Simon thought of it.

“The post?” Simon asked, eyeing Bram out of the corner of his eye while trying to stay focused on the road. “Oh. Yeah... I did.”

“What did you... what did you think of it?” Bram asked, looking anywhere but Simon.

“Uh...” Bram noticed Simon squirm in his seat. Shit. Of course he’s uncomfortable. “It was very well written.”

Bram couldn’t help but chuckle, which caused Simon to chuckle as well, both boys relaxing significantly.

“I also... really related to it....” Simon said, surprising Bram. Was he... “The loneliness aspect, not the... gay aspect.”

“Right,” Bram said, trying not to show his disappointment.

“I don’t know. It just... kind of spoke to me in a certain kind of way,” Simon said, staring head on at the road. There was something in his eyes that Bram couldn’t quite place. He wished he knew what that look meant. It bothered him sometimes when he realized he didn’t know Simon as well as he thought he did. “Well here we are.”

Bram looked straight ahead as Simon pulled up to his drive way.

“I’ll pick you up in the morning,” Simon said.

“See you at seven,” Bram said with a smile.

He said hello to his mom as he entered the house then made his way to his room to start homework. When he opened his computer it was still on his fake email account and before he exited out of it, he noticed a new message. His heart seemed to jump out of his chest. He looked around his room before opening it.

> From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com
> 
> To: bluegreen116@gmail.com
> 
> Date: Aug 24 at 6:21 pm
> 
> Subject: RE: Is this what I was suppose to do?
> 
> Blue,
> 
> I’m actually so surprised you reached out but boy am I glad you did! I, personally, am extremely flattered that you created a whole new freaking email just to message me but unfortunately this email is not new for me (sorry to disappoint). I actually made it back in middle school to set up my MoshiMonsters and Webkinz account..... two websites I definitely don’t still check up on....

Bram chuckled at that, hugging his knees to chest and rolling his chair in closer to his computer.

> I’m not sure what lead me to comment my secret email. Maybe it was the idea that I could talk to someone who understands what it’s like to be a closeted gay in Shady Creek or maybe it’s because I read your post, instantly connected to it and decided I needed to know you ASAP.
> 
> Is that weird?? I’m sorry if it is.
> 
> I don’t know though. Sometimes I feel like no one really knows me, you know? Like I’m a house full of windows and doors and no one seems to want to peak in or open the doors because it’s easier to just accept me for the me they know and not the me that I am.
> 
> I’m not as poetic as you, and yes I totally know that I stole your window and door analogy, but I hope it makes some kind of sense.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Jacques (not my real name btw)

Bram read over his words again and again. Not because he didn’t understand what Jacques was trying to express, but because he understood it too well. Not even Simon totally knew who Bram was. He knew Bram better than anyone else but there was still this massive part of himself he felt the need to hide. And that’s exactly what Jacques was expressing.

> From: bluegreen116@gmail.com
> 
> To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com
> 
> Date: Aug 24 at 8:31 pm
> 
> Subject: Rules
> 
> Jacques,
> 
> I completely get it. It’s like you have to hide this giant part of yourself from even your closest friends, putting a giant wall between you and your friends.
> 
> I would love to get to know you Jacques. But I think we should make some ground rules, to keep up the anonymity. Like, no giving away too much personal information or talking about people we’re close with by name. I would personally feel a lot more comfortable keeping this anonymous, if that’s okay?
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Blue.

> From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com
> 
> To: bluegreen116@gmail.com
> 
> Date: Aug 24 at 11:53
> 
> Subject: RE: Rules
> 
> Blue,
> 
> Rules are good. I’m more than okay with keeping this anonymous.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Jacques


	3. Chapter 3

> **From** : hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com
> 
> **To** : bluegreen116@gmail.com
> 
> **Date** : Oct 16 at 12:15 am
> 
> **Subject** : RE: poor taste in music
> 
> Blue,
> 
> I wouldn't say you have poor taste in music. Just... very basic. And I mean that in the kindest way possible with as much love as humanly possible.
> 
> Tell me Mr. English nerd, was that too many "possible"s in one sentence?
> 
> No matter, I made you a playlist... so that you can educate yourself on proper music, of course. Not that pop music is a total waste of time and I'm no music snob but you asked so here it is.

"Greenfeld," Garrett greeted, patting Bram's back. Bram quickly closed his phone, hoping to god Garrett didn't notice him grinning like an idiot at his phone. Grinning at the word 'love' and the playlist he made specifically for him. "Talking to a pretty lady huh?"

He elbowed Bram suggestively. Bram sank in on himself, turning a bright shade of red. "No," he said. "No girl."

"No you totally are!" Garrett exclaimed. "Look at you — look at him."

Simon and the others joined and Bram was all too aware of Simon's eyes on him as he sat down next to him.

"Why are we looking at Bram?" Nick asked.

"Don't listen to him," Bram said, stuffing his phone deep in his pocket. "He's lost his mind."

"No, I have not," Garrett said. "I caught Bram here smiling at his phone. He's totally got himself a girlfriend."

"No," Bram said certainly. "No girlfriend."

"He's talking to a girl," Garrett said. "You should have seen his face when I came down."

Bram shook his head. He knew he wasn't getting out of this one. "You got me," he said, standing to his feet. "I'm talking to a girl."

"Atta boy Greenfeld," Nick cawed.

"Yeah, yeah," Bram mumbled. "I gotta go."

He walked off, ignoring the whopping from his friends and the sinking feeling in his gut and pulled out his phone.

"Hey, Bram, wait up," Simon called, lightly jogging after him. Bram put his phone back in his pocket.

"Hey Si," Bram said.

"You... you never told me you were talking to someone," he said. "Not... not that you have to tell me everything. I mean you're not entitled to tell me anything if you don't want to I just... I thought.... never mind..."

"It's not that I didn't want to tell you," Bram quickly said. "It's just.... it's not like serious, or anything. I-in fact... well... they live far away... so.. so it's never actually going to happen."  


Bram watched Simon closing, trying to find a reaction to him using a gender neutral term. But if Simon noticed, he didn’t say anything about it.

"Oh," Simon said. "I'm sorry about that."

Bram shrugged, forcing a closed mouth smile. "It's all good..."

"Okay," he said. "Well, as you know Garrett is having a Halloween party and Abby, Nick and Leah will be crashing at my place afterwards so if you're planning on going you should crash at my place too."

"I don't know if I'm going to the party," Bram said. "I might have to stay home."

"Again?!" Simon asked. "There were only like, three people that knocked on your door last year. And we watched every Tim Burton movie."

"Four people came," Bram corrected, smiling innocently.

"Just leave the bucket outside," Simon said. "Tell your mom we're all going trick-or-treating, she won't deny you Halloween fun."

"She will if she thinks 'trick-or-treating' is code for 'Halloween rager,' but fine... I'll make it to the party."

"Yes! It's going to be a blast," Simon exclaimed. "We'll go shopping for matching costumes after your practice and my rehearsals. I'm thinking Batman and Robin."

"We were Batman and Robin last year," Bram pointed out.

"Oh right," Simon said. "Oh! How about Bert and Ernie!"

Bram's face turned red. "Si... Bert and Ernie are... they're together. Like _together_ , together."

"What? No," Simon said. "Oh no I got a better one! Finn and Poe!"

Bram was sure his face was redder than a tomato. He knew for a fact Finn and Poe was queer bait but of course, Simon Oblivious As Freak Spier wouldn't catch the not-so subtle hints.

"We'll discuss it later," Bram said, patting his friends back. "I gotta go."

"Captain America and Bucky!" Simon shouted after Bram.

He couldn't help but smile, shaking his head as the blushing continued.

* * *

Soccer practice ended early, allowing Bram the opportunity to sit in the theater room until Simon was ready. He slipped in through the back so that no one would notice him, plugging his headphones in and creating a hidden playlist on his Spotify with all the songs Jacques sent him.

It was a lot of Billy Elliot, the Bleachers, Tegan and Sara and the 1975 (people Bram only knew thanks to Simon) but there were a few artists he hadn’t ever heard of. The playlist was overall amazing and Bram had to fight the smile that grew on his face as he realized most the songs were love songs.

He pulled opened his email, finally getting the chance to respond.

> **From** : bluegreen116@gmail.com
> 
> **To** : hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com
> 
> **Date** : Oct 16 at 3:12 pm
> 
> **Subject** : you made me a playlist?  
>   
> 
> 
> Jacques,
> 
> I can’t believe you took time out of your life to make me a playlist?? No one has ever done that for me and let me just say, it’s a very amazing playlist and consider me enlightened.
> 
> Should I not comment on how romantic this playlist is? It has me grinning like an idiot.
> 
> As for Halloween, I have been dragged into going to a party with my friends. I’m not a big party person but I also can’t say no to my friends puppy dog eyes. The costume is to be determined but it’ll probably be a matching costume with my friend. That’s all I will give you on my Halloween plans. Gotta stay anonymous after all.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Blue.

Bram sent the email, closing his phone as Ms. Albright dismissed the cast members. He stood up, throwing his bag over his shoulder and smiling as Simon and Abby jumped off the stage, running to Bram. Abby was quick to engulf him in a hug.

“I’m crashing your guys’ Halloween costume shopping,” she said as they parted from the hug. “Mainly because Simon thinks I can convince you to be Finn.”

Bram chuckled. “You really want to be Finn and Poe don’t you?”

“It’s a dream of mine,” Simon said. “It’s perfect! I even made a slide show highlighting why we should do it.”

“Fine,” Bram said, walking with them out of the auditorium.

“Fine?” Simon asked. “Just like that?”

Bram nodded. “If that’s what you want to do.”

“Can I still present the slideshow?” Simon asked.

Abby and Bram laughed. “Sure Si, you can present your slideshow.”


	4. Chapter 4

After school on Halloween, Bram went to Simon's house with Abby to get ready for the party. Abby was getting ready in Alice's room while Simon was getting ready in his room leaving Bram alone in the kitchen. He sat at the bar stools around the island reading Jacques recent email.

> **From** : hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com
> 
> **To** : bluegreen116@gmail.com
> 
> **Date** : Oct 31 at 12:15 pm
> 
> **Subject** : Oreos can be candy  
>   
> 
> 
> Blue,
> 
> I totally believe that the only candy worth handing out on Halloween is Oreos. Now hear me out because I feel like I know you well enough at this point to know you're sitting behind your computer or staring at your phone reading this and thinking 'that's not a candy you idiot it's a cookie' and technically, you're not wrong. But I will die on this hill that only Oreos should be handed out on Halloween.

Something about that paragraph struck Bram as strongly familiar. The passion Jacques spoke about Oreos with was a lot like Simon's. He was pretty sure he even remembered hearing Simon say something exactly like that last year as they gorged on Halloween candy and watched Tim Burton movies while waiting for trick or treaters. But after a few moments of pondering on it, he chalked it up to a coincidence. Simon was straight and Bram knew he had to get over his silly crush on his best friend.

What really had Bram, though, was the next paragraph.

> Enough about Oreos though. I'm not certain why I've decided to actually go through with sending this and I've written and deleted it at least 10 times but I'm just going to go for it because you don't know who I am anyway.
> 
> Is it weird that we've never even met and yet I can't stop thinking about kissing you? It consumes my every day thoughts and I totally got called out by one of my teachers today for not paying attention and that's 100 percent your fault. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
> 
> I long for the day where you and I can meet (and we can kiss and hold each other and... other stuff).
> 
> I'm going to stop while I'm ahead before this gets grotesquely sappy or something. I hope you have a happy Halloween and know that I'll be thinking about all night.
> 
> Love,
> 
> Jacques.

There was so much to unpack within that one section of his email and every bit of it made Bram turn redder by each second.

Bram wanted nothing more than to tell Jacques who he was. To meet him in person and to kiss him and be with him. But it was so much easier to want it from afar than to actually have it be real. He couldn't handle real right now.

"What has you all smiley?" Abby asked, joining Bram in the kitchen. "Talking to your lady friend?"

Bram couldn't shake the smile from his face so he just shook his head, setting his phone down on the counter. "I told you all, there's no _girl_."

"Mmhm," Abby said suggestively, grabbing a piece of chocolate from the candy bucket on the counter. "Simon told me you've been hiding a secret long distance girlfriend from us."

"Nope," he said certainly. "No _girlfriend_."

Bram watched Abby's expression carefully, as he had with Simon just last week. But she just shrugged, still smirking as Simon came into the kitchen, dressed like Poe Dameron. Bram's eyes lingered on Simon for a moment longer than they should have, until he thought of Jacques and quickly looked away.

"Nick and Leah should be here shortly," Simon said. "Uh... I also kind of invited Martin..."

Abby and Bram laughed, their laughter only fading once they realized he wasn't joking.

"Are you serious?" Abby asked.

"Why?" Bram asked.

Simon shrugged, his gaze distant in a way Bram couldn't quite place. "He's... cool... ish. Once you get to know him."

Abby and Bram exchanged glances, holding back their chuckles.

"Now I know you're joking," Abby said as Nick and Leah entered in through the back door.

"What's up party people," Nick exclaimed as he entered the kitchen. "Who's ready to party?"

"We're just waiting on one more," Simon said.

"Simon you have to be joking," Abby said. "I mean.... Martin?"

"What's going on?" Leah asked.

"Simon invited Martin to the party with us," Bram said, playing with a candy wrapper in his hands.

"And he wasn't joking?" Nick asked.

"Do you guys just assume I'm a horrible person?" Simon asked. "He's.... a good person... deep down."

Bram could tell there was more behind the random invitation, just like he could tell it took everything in Simon to call Martin a good person. So when Simon went to let Martin in when there was a knock on the door, Bram followed him. He grabbed Simon's arm, stopping him before they reached the door.

"Is everything okay?" Bram asked. "You just seem a little... on edge."

Simon forced a smile, placing a sturdy hand on Bram's should. "I'm fine." He flicked his gaze up and down Bram, causing him to blush. "You make a really good Finn."

Bram wasn't able to respond before Martin continuously rang the doorbell. He was sure even if he had the time to respond, the words would have never come out.

Simon opened the door, allowing Martin to step in. "Ah Finn and Poe," he said, pointing at Simon and Bram. "Interesting fact, they were actually queer coded. But you probably already knew that huh Spier."

"Alright let's go!" Simon shouted, shoving Martin out the door.

Bram stayed behind a bit, watching as the others piled out of Simon's house. He was stuck on Martin's comment. It was very Martin-esque except for the comment about Simon.

_'You probably already knew that huh Spier.'_

Bram figured he was reading too much into it but he felt like that comment held something more to it. And Simon's reaction. Was Simon —

"Are you coming Bram?" Simon asked. "Or are you going to hang out with Nora all night?"

Bram brushed it off, chuckling. "Coming."

* * *

Bram wasn't usually a drinker or a partier. He drank on occasion with Nick and Garrett after big wins but that was about it. Bram was shocked when Simon started drinking. He couldn't remember ever witnessing Simon drink but his carefree attitude of the night was contagious. A few hours into the party and both Simon and Bram were drunk and playing beer pong.

Most of the party went by in a blur for Bram after the first couple of drinks and after one round of beer pong and a horrible attempt at Karaoke with Simon, Bram stumbled into Garrett's room for some quiet. He tried making it to the bed, but ended up laying on his stomach, his cheek pressed against the hard wood floor.

And then he was thinking about Jacques. He had said he was going to a party and Bram wondered if he was at this exact party.

_'I'm a character heavily queer coded but isn't canonly gay, clever right?'_

That's the hint Jacques has given him and if Bram hadn't been so drunk, he would have spent the party looking around for someone matching the description. Honestly it could have been any character if you looked hard enough.

"I thought I saw you slip in here," Simon said. "You know the lights off right?

Bram groaned, hiding his face against the floor as Simon turned on the light. He quickly turned it back off, laying next to Bram on his back.

"Why are we on the floor?" Simon asked, turning his head to look at Bram, who did the same thing.

"I couldn't make it to the bed," Bram said, slurring his words a bit.

Simon chuckled. "Makes sense."

Bram wasn't sure what came over him, he knew it was the alcohol and a part of him knew he would regret it in the morning but in the moment he didn't care. He reached over with his closest hand, lightly brushing Simon's hair out of his face.

"You have soft hair," he mumbled, staring into Simon's eyes, his hand lingering in his hair for a moment too long.

Finally, he sat up, Simon following his actions.

"Si," Bram said, suddenly very serious. "I'm not talking to any girl."

"Oh?"

"I just went along with it because it was easier than the truth," Bram confessed.

"And what's the truth?" Simon asked.

"I'm not talking to a _girl_ ," Bram repeated. "But I am —"

The world must have been on Bram's side because instead of drunkenly coming out, the door slammed open.

"Oh thank god," Abby breathed out. "I've been looking for you two everywhere. Martin is a leech and I'm ready to go."

Bram nodded, already grateful for Abby's intrusion. He stood to his feet, helping Simon up. "I'm so ready too."

* * *

Bram crawled into Simon's bed, clutching a pillow and hugging it close while Simon jumped into his bed beside Bram.

"Hey Bram?" Simon said.

"Hm?"

"You were saying something. Back at that party," Simon said. "About not having a girlfriend?"

"Oh..." he said. "I can't remember.... must have just been... really freaking drunk."

"Right," Simon said. "Yeah. I think I'm going to crash."

"Okay," Bram said. But then he thought about Jacques email he never got around to responding to, and of course his phone was dead. "Hey can I use your laptop?"

"Mmhm," Simon muttered, already on his side half asleep.

Bram reached over, grabbing his laptop and opening up email. He logged into his anonymous email, clicking on Jacques latest response.

> **From** : bluegreen116@gmail.com
> 
> **To** : hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com
> 
> **Date** : Nov 1 at 12:21 am
> 
> **Subject** : I’m totally drunk
> 
> Jacques,
> 
> I want to preface this email by being totally blunt. I am, 100% drunker than shit and I'm sure I will regret this in the morning but in this moment I don't care in the least bit.
> 
> I think about you all day long as well. I think about kissing you and being with you and everything in between and sometimes (no, all the time) that overwhelms the heck out of me. Maybe that's why I'm so hesitant to tell you who I am, to find out who you are.
> 
> There's also the fact that I have had a crush on this one guy since freshman year! And I probably shouldn't tell you this because I like you and it seems like you like me too so I don't want to hurt you in anyway but I have no one else to talk about this with so bare with me on it?
> 
> The thing is, this person I have been crushing on since freshman year is my best friend. My straight best friend. Talk about being a gay cliche.
> 
> But part of me thinks that you could be him... or he could be you I guess. I'm just not ready for that to not be the case. Not that I'd be disappointed in who you end up being. You could be freaking Martin Addison and I'd still want to kiss you.
> 
> Anyway, just know that I listen to that playlist daily and every time I do my heart grows two sizes larger in my chest and my stomach gets consumed by a monstrous wave of butterflies. I know those are cheesy idioms but I'm drunk so it's the best I can think of right now.
> 
> I think often of the day when we know each other. When I’m able to know who you are and have you know who I am. When you and I can go on a picnic, or go canoeing, or can just cuddle and watch bad reality tv together. I know we don’t know each other but at the same time, we know each other better than anyone else right? I mean you know more about me than even my closest friends, despite not knowing my name. That’s pretty crazy huh?
> 
> I’ll finish here because I could probably write a whole essay on the things I’d like to do with but it’s late, I’m drunk and I’m tired.
> 
> Love always,
> 
> Blue.

After sending the email, Bram made sure to log out of his email and clear the history, just in case.

“Oops,” he muttered, accidentally clicking on Simon’s Spotify. Before he went to click out, he caught the title of Simon’s most recent listened to playlist.

‘For 💙’

His heart skipped a beat, his breath trapped in his lungs as he refused to look at the songs. But his curiosity got the better of him.

“Shit,” he muttered.

It was the exact playlist as the one Jacques sent him.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Bram muttered, closing the laptop and pushing it to the edge of the bed.

He looked over at Simon’s sleeping form, his heart racing in his chest.

Simon freaking Spier is Jacques.


End file.
